1. You appreciate the efficiency of a grocery list written in crayon.
2. You are not offended by wiping someone's nose with the edge of your sleeve.
3. Shirt is really just another word for bib.
4. You face down boogers bare-handed.
5. You spend enough money on diapers each month to cover a car payment.
6. You have heard the word "Mama" repeated 368 times in a row, without pause.
7. You have decided setting the dog free in the kitchen is easier than sweeping up the Cheerios.
8. Getting by on 5 hours of sleep is a breeze because it is so much more than you were getting a year ago.
9. The last feature film you saw was The Wiggles Magical Adventure, for the 49th time.
10. Your home is adorned with 117 pieces of safety hardware, including cabinet locks, drawer latches, toilet lid locks, outlet safety plugs, stove knob covers, and a special stretchy cushion that covers the edges of the coffee table.