Zoe, mommy's little helper, has developed a new way of assisting me. A big fan of baby wipes, she has recently started pulling them out and tossing them at her sister's dirty bum when I change Kaia's poopy diapers. Who can say whether it's more target practice or an all-out effort to remove the stink from the room ASAP. All the same, it so far seems harmless and her aim is not half bad.
Who's that lady? Photo by my friend Karin the Photography Goddess. 
I appear to be your typical California suburbanite. I wear clothes from Ann Taylor. I have highlights in my hair. I work out. I drive an SUV. And I dress my kids in clothes from Gymboree. But there are things that might surprise you.
For example, did you know?
1) I am not a Republican. (Repeat after me. I am not a Republican.)
2) I love biscuits and gravy.
3) I believe in equal rights.
4) I campaigned for Howard Dean.
5) I was a Democracy for America Meet-Up leader.
6) I've walked neighborhoods and stood outside polling places in rain, sleet, snow and blazing heat to campaign for candidates.
7) I was a political blogger during the 2004 presidential election.
8) I've been caught in the middle of the armed capture of four armed robbers. (Notice the word armed.)
9) I had skin cancer at 26. Wear your sunscreen ladies and gentlemen.
10) I've been honored to be included as the only female participant of an otherwise all male racoon hunt in Northwest Oklahoma. Don't worry, I didn't carry a gun and the entire expedition was largely about drinking beer, climbing trees and running through the forest in the middle of the night. Yes, that's right, drinking beer and climbing trees.
11) I did landscaping to help put myself through law school. Yes my friends, beneath that mop of frazzled mommy hair, there sits a brain licensed to practice law and capable of comprehending words exceeding one syllable.
12) My friend Jack and I orchestrated the release of 1000 crickets in the Engineering Building at my alma mater during the traditional week of rivalry between the schools of engineering and law. Shame on me. Those poor crickets.
13) I have chopped cotton and ridden on a spray buggy. Translation for my city friends = hoed weeds in the cotton fields and ridden on a buggy pulled behind a small tractor while spraying weed killer.
14) I've been inside a house while someone was breaking in. He broke in and forced us to open our Christmas presents. Maybe I'll write about this sometime.
15) I love Blues.
16) I despise snobbery.
17) I know what it's like to be hungry because there's not enough food.
18) I'm lucky.
19) I read Dooce.com.
20) I used to live across the street from a crack house.
21) I've witnessed gang violence.
22) I got my first official job at 10 years old. I was the concession stand attendant at the public pool.
23) I paid my own way through college and law school.
24) I once found my fiance in bed with another woman. They were perfect for one another. They were both cheaters.
25) I think it's okay to have pink hair. I've even considered it.
26) I've been in two movies.
27) I want to learn to surf.
28) I've eaten frog legs, calf fries and barbecued rattlesnake.
29) I don't eat beef.
30) I'm a Christian, but I don't think I personally get to decide who is going to Hell.
(A Tongue-In-Cheek Social Study of the Female American Suburbanite Based upon Handbag Contents, Accomplished Through Viral Blogging)
When I was tagged by my friend Karin the Photography Goddess to do this post, my first thought was, "That's so cool." My second thought was, "What IS in my bag?" Typically Type A, I was tempted to first investigate the contents of my bag, sort, discard and rearrange prior to completing this writing assignment. I guess that would defeat the purpose, so away we go on an uncensored tour of the contents of my bags.
For me, it will be two bags rather than one. As a mommy of twins, no single bag has proven mighty enough to supply the needs of both mommy and babies on the run.
First, there's the luxury bag for me, my little splurge. Nevermind, that its original pricetag was more than my car payment. But then again, I'm a bargain shopper, so I got it for half off. Even so, it was pricey for me -- a little tiptoe into decadence justified by the fact that it's something that will always fit and the fact that it cost incredibly less than the similar purses in the same store that cost more than most of my highschool friends' first cars. 
So, let's see what is inside:
- a pair of $5 sunglasses from Claire's
- a plastic compact with a mirror designed to hold tissues, empty
- cell phone and ear piece
- individual dental floss packets, toothbrush, miniature toothpaste
- Coolmint Listerine Pocketmist mouth spray
- a partially eaten colorful story card from an on-the-go toddler meal
- keychain with keys, remote keyless entry and and a red plastic logo tag from my gym
- miniature sunscreen on a caribeener clip
- miniature flashlight and Swiss Army knife on a separate keychain
- hairclip
- 2 tampons
- used tissues
- 4 stray Gerber Fruit Puffs
- Mary Kay Lip Protector Sunblock
- size and weight measurements from the girls last doctor appointment
- 3 packages of strawberry Weight Watchers Fruities candies
- checkbook, savings book
- informed consent for Zoom! Tooth Whitening
- 2 coupons for discounted Six Flags Magic Mountain tickets
- completely flattened unopened toddler cereal bar
- appointment card for the girls' next doctor appointment (hey, that's where it went)
- business card for landscaping
- 2 panty shields, an ultra thin pad, and another tampon
- Benefit "the gloss" lip gloss in "no peeking" pink
- 3 more tampons in yet another pocket
- 2 unused restaurant napkins (emergency kleenex)
- See's Candies gift certificate
- Trader Joe's receipt
- Costco receipt
- black ponytail holder
- rubber band
- cell phone magazine ad
- Triple A card
- receipt from doctor's office
- cell phone brochures and business card
- more business cards
- wallet and coin purse combo
Put me on Survivor, just let me take my purse and I could make it weeks on what's in there. Of course, if the girls are with me, we'll need the handy dandy diaper bag, a durable, urban chic unisex messenger bag, built for the practical gal or guy -- $10-15 from Target. The essentials for the mommy trail are tucked inside. It's likely to have everything but the canteen. Let's see . . .
- full size sunscreen and miniature hand sanitizer
- sippy cup and curvy spoon
- chicken stew toddler meal
- Costco baby wipes
- telephone number for Poison Control
- post office receipt
- wallpaper sample
- colorful story card from on-the-go toddler meal
- plastic see-thru block
- 2 Little Swimmers diapers
- 2 Pampers Cruisers diapers (more in the car)
- vacation brochures
- another curvy spoon
- 76 cents in change
and
- a sticker from a size 5 toddler shoe
All in all, some better and some worse than I anticipated, but now I wonder . . . . . . . What's in your bag?
I hereby tag Sonya.
This week we said our first complete sentences. They were blurted out with the urgency of a fire alarm, lest Mommy and Daddy forget to give us our bedtime bottles. Kaia: Mama, I need baba! Zoe: Dada, baba, I need!
This week we went swimming for the very first time. Mommy and her friend Francie took us swimming in a warm saltwater pool with a walk-behind waterfall and tall palm trees all around. It was so much fun. At first we were a bit hesitant, but when we sat on the steps and splashed the water with our feet and hands, we decided it was just dandy.
Kaia seemed ready to jump right in off the steps and Zoe was ready and willing to give her that little extra push with her foot in the middle of Kaia's back. I decided they weren't quite ready for jumping or pushing in the pool and held back their efforts at advanced horseplay, at least for now. But they loved splashing the warm water and watching the other children. Zoe, in particular, squealed with delight each time she saw one little girl run by with her colorful float.
This week we noticed our shadows. Mommy couldn't understand why we kept kissing the wall in late afternoon. Finally, she realized we were giving our pretty shadows kisses.
Kaia:
I can open my bedroom door.
I can undo my stroller seatbelt and escape under the front bar.
I can unscrew the lid on my sippy cup and pour it on myself.
I don't like pouring milk on myself.
I like to share with sister.
Zoe:
Sister sometimes gives me things if I ask. If she doesn't, I can take her and the toy with me.
I can write on paper with an ink pen.
I love hats. The more I can wear at one time, the better. Stack'em on!
I like ice cream.
I like to make big splashes in the bath.
Both:
We like fresh peaches and nectarines. Yummy, yummy, yummy.
If Mommy is eating it, it must be good.
Afternoon naps aren't so bad.
Seals clap like this.
Playing ball with Mommy and sister is fun.
Kaia and Zoe got their first baby dolls today.
They are soft little dolls dressed in little baby buntings. One baby wears a little pink and white fleece outfit with an embroidered butterfly on the front. One baby wears a purple fleece outfit with a purple and white floral calico print top. Both have precious baby faces with big blue eyes and rosebud lips curled into a tiny smile.
The look in their eyes when I handed them to them was priceless.
Our big girls knew just what to do. Who knew they had been watching so closely all this time.
So excited to see their babies, they hugged and kissed them and gave them lots of love. Kaia was eager to share her baby with Mommy for a big cuddle. Zoe cradled her baby in her arms, rocked her side to side and kissed her forehead. What good mommies they may be some day!
All the sippy cups are mine.
I can take off my diaper.
Folding sister up in the couch is fun.
In honor of Kaia and Zoe's first birthday on the 9th, here is a photo montage of their best looks, accomplishments and discoveries. This is the first online appearance for many of the photos included.
