Mama Always Said

Top Five Things I've Said that I Never Would Have Imagined Before Becoming a Parent:

1. "Don't put that in your nose." This is my constant refrain. I'm just waiting for the day I turn around and find one of them with a green bean wedged in a nostril.

2. "Don't step on your sister." Why this is so appealing escapes me.

3. "We don't eat things off the floor." Ah yes, a crusty bit of dried cheese from breakfast looks much more appetizing than the chicken and carrots Mommy was just trying to feed me.

4. "It's not polite to grab there." How do they know just the wrong place to grab? It's like a homing beacon.

5. "Don't stick your hand in the poopy." You would think it was like water to a dying man the way the reach for it.

AND THE KICKER

* "It's 8:30. I'm going to bed."